Almuerzo con mi familia Peruana

Last week I moved in with my Peruvian host family, I´ll live with them through Christmas before moving into the JV house. Jessica, my mom, is an extremely busy lady who works for the municipal government and travels a lot for meetings. Her daughter, Natalia, is 14 and incredibly shy and studious. My abuelita, Julia, is the sweetest woman alive. Her first words to my were "mi hijita, mi amor" (my little daughter, my love). When she`s not in the kitchen cooking up some incredible food, she`s usually at church or visiting with her friends.

Because they´re all so busy (and I´ve been busy job shadowing and lesson planning), I haven´t gotten to spend much time with them, so I was extremely excited when I heard there would be a huge lunch with the extended family on Sunday.

It was a splendid and long affair, lasting from 2-7 P.M. My brain ached from trying to keep up with the rapid Spanish of nine people and there were many moments when I had to guess what was going on and wondered if I´d heard correctly. I´ll never know what was real and what was misunderstood, but I was very entertained regardless of the veracity. Compiled below are some conversations, observations, and thoughts.

- They were all extremely intrigued that I only have one last name. I mean, they were really fixated on this for a few solid minutes. They were also oddly in awe of the fact my ancestors are from Norway.

- There was some story about Chinese people having trouble pronouncing certain words in Spanish. Then someone said "pelo de cabeza o pelo de..." and before they could finish everyone was laughing hysterically and fanning their hands in front of their noses like someone had ripped one. I genuinely have no idea what they said that was funny, or if it has to do with Chinese people at all.

- Later on, when they heard that I studied abroad in China, my uncle told my he´s a quarter Chinese. I believed him, but everyone started laughing. I didn´t realize it was a joke, because he really could pass for a quarter Chinese and there are a lot of Chinese people in Peru. My introduction to Peruvian jokes and my ability to understand sarcasm in Spanish was not off to a great start.

- My cousin told a story about her dog eating 3 steaks off the counter. At first she thought it was her son and asked him if he ate them but he said no. Later she realized the dog did it. The strange part of this story is that (and this I am sure I understood correctly) the steaks were raw. I didn´t want to ask why she thought a 13 year old boy would eat 3 raw steaks.

- We talked about Quinceañeras and Sweet 16s for a bit. They lamented how much the tradition of the Quinceañera has been lost to commercialism; I didn´t have the heart to tell them that there is an MTV show that glorifies spoiled kids and their lavish parties.

- Natalia, my 14 year old sister, does not like Justin Bieber. She has mature taste.

- My uncle has a brother with a "conpromiso" in Venezuela. This word has two meanings, a meeting or a mistress, I´m not sure which type is waiting for this guy in Venezuela. 

- A joke was made, everyone laughed, then they pointed out I was blushing which made them laugh more. I guess the joke was about me and blushing meant it was true. I´m extremely curious what the entire episode was about. What did I reveal? What do people now believe is true? I hope it´s something juicy!

- As my host mom piled more potatoes on my plate (rice and potatoes and sweet potatoes in one meal. No carb left behind!) she either told me she needs to fatten me up or that I´m getting fat. Knowing verb tenses would help so much right now. Not that they frown upon getting fat. Every family has one or two "Gorditas" (roughly translated to Lil Fatty).

- I ended the 5 hour meal still unclear on how people were related to one another. The person I thought was a sister was called "Mama" by three different generations, including by the person I though was her mom. Also, I´m not sure how old anyone is. The kid I though was 21 ended up being about 14 and the woman I thought was about 25 is definitely pushing 40.

- The table held the trifecta of enamel eroders: Chicha (juice made from purple corn), wine (a concoction made by Julia, bright orange and sugary), and Inca Kola (a soda that tastes like liquid bubble gum with Pixy Stix poured in). Nine out of ten dentists would cry looking at that table. The last would retire off the money she makes from treating the cavities caused.

That´s it. Lunch number one of many with this silly, wonderful family.