And then there was that one time I...

Mes de Misión, a month long service trip with a group of 25 high school students, was a truly incredible and moving experience. Before I take the time to write about the beautiful yet desolate location, the interesting conversations, the unique people, the challenges, and the moments of great joy, here´s a light-hearted and silly little account of some of the stranger moments.

Allie, Colleen, Brittany, and I played a game called "and then there was that one time I..." in an attempt to find humor in every situation and appreciate the new, albeit odd, experiences we were having - it worked! No matter how frustrated I became, our fun list kept me laughing and smiling the whole month. Enjoy!

And then there was that one time I...

- Went 29 days without a real shower (there was running water only 3.5 of these 29 days and it was dirty and freezing cold).
- Used a baby wipe to "shower" and felt so clean afterwards that I didn`t even mind the ashes caked to my legs from a kitchen incident two days prior.  
- Drank a cup of rainwater straight from the sky
- Used an old foam mattress to collect water from a puddle in order to bucket-flush our toilets.
- Drank water we were told was clean only to find out three days later that it was laced with arsenic. Continued to drink this water for the next 26 days because our other water sources had pesticides and animal waste in them. It was a real "pick your poison" moment.
- Swept a road made of dirt and small rocks to get the dirt and small rocks off.
- In an attempt to collect water that could be used to flush toilets, I slipped off a bluff and was saved from falling in the water by an inconveniently placed tree stump that impaled me in an unfortunate and painful region. Sadly, my favorite sandal fell into the water and in my blinding pain I let it float away, along with my hope of ever procreating.
- Let 14 and 15 year-olds cut a pumpkin we were going to eat with a machete covered in five years worth of rust.
- Was deliberately peed on by a dog. When I told its owner, he laughed and said "Malcriado" (the Spanish equivalent of calling this dog the spawn of Satan) then walked away. No "sorry". No "can I wash your shirt for you?".No embarrassment of any kind.
- Offended five Peruvians by asking if we could put carrots in the fried rice we were making.
- Horrified seven Peruvians by suggesting we make tallarines rojos (a plato típico de Perù) without carrots.
- Was served a soup made of noodles and potatoes with a heaping side of rice. No carb left behind!
- Listened to a Maroon 5 album and a Hoobastank song from 2004 at least three times a day, everyday, for four weeks.
- Took 25 children, 17 cantaloupes, and weeks worth of laundry on an ill-fated, four hour hike to find a non-polluted (and non-existant) river where we could bathe and do laundry. The river was never found, laundry never washed, and cantaloupes never consumed. It was doomed from the start - on our way out of town three different residents of the town pointed north, south, and east when we asked where the river was. We went west.
- Was told that we couldn´t eat quinoa for dinner because it was much too heavy of a dish and we´d get sick. A week later we had a parillada - with pork, chicken, sausage, potatoes, sweet potatoes, rice, salad, and cake - that started at 11:15 PM.
- I killed flies for thirty minutes while singing the theme song to Mission Impossible because I was so bored.
- I practiced using the fly swatter with my left hand because it became too easy with my right hand.
- I had to take back what I`d said the night before ("It`s a good day when I go to bed without soot on my body.") because I discovered a hidden soot spot behind my knee when I awoke.
- During an all-female soccer game (we took on some ladies from a neighboring town) some of the male student-spectators called me "Sexy Robot" as a tribute to my titanium knee brace.
- We were supposed to leave Chucatamani at 11 AM on the final day but our bus (which had been broken and stranded on the soccer cancha for 28 days) was just getting fixed at 10:45 AM.
- The school where we stayed had a hand-drawn food pyramid in one of the classrooms with water placed in the top triangle, along with butter and oil, and the label "consume the minimum amount possible."
- My hands could have been the hands of a coal miner, but there wasn`t water to waste on silly things like hand-washing!
- A student won a log-chopping competition in town. His prize? An axe. What every 15 year-old needs.
- Had a Wizard of Oz - the house falls on the wicked witch and only her legs are showing moment with a dead chicken in the fridge.
- Used the Science, Technology part of my college degree to make a system to pop popcorn over an open fire. Two grease-fires were started but no Kellys were harmed in the making of this yummy treat.
- Won an impromptu "marathon" of 5km. The event was supposedly a planned part of the Chucatamani 60 year anniversary celebration, but we were informed of it five minutes before the race began. Allie, Colleen, and I kept shaking our heads and, in a jokingly pretentious way, saying, "This is soooo Born to Run."
- Cristo Rey (where Thomas works) has the motto "Excelencia." Miguel Pro (where Allie, Colleen, and Brittany work) is "Siempre Más Alto." Fe y Alegria (where I work) is "Siempre Presente." In this same vein, we decided to adopt a motto. "At least we`re trying" seemed to perfectly fit our approach to personal hygiene.
- Got a cactus spine in the roof of my mouth while eating a cactus fruit.
- Brittany noticed a scorpion on her shirt while she was reading.
- Colleen was almost knocked into a cesspool by a wayward tire.
- In trying to express how many students and leaders were getting sick, we realized the expression "dropping like flies" didn´t fit, as flies in Chucatamani spawn faster that Kardashians. Instead, "dropping like potable water sources" was deemed more appropriate.


Deep, meaningful reflections on my month in Chucatamani to follow. I promise at least three tear-jerking moments of intimate insights into my psyche and a handful of self-depricating frivolity. Stay tuned!