I´m Turning Peruana, I Think I´m Turning Peruana, I Really Think So

I love whipping out my carnet to prove I´m practically Peruvian, but becoming Peruvian on paper and becoming Peruvian culturally are two completely different things. And now, dear reader, I offer a list entitled "You know you´re becoming Peruvian when..."



- a tube of White-Out has become an additional appendage.
- cell phones must be carried at all moments, even to the bathroom, lest you be separated from its blaring music for one moment.
- your hiking head lantern has been used more during power outages than during rugged adventures.
- you never leave the house without a substantial amount of toilet paper.
- you understand that the proper placement of wall decor is 6-12 inches below the ceiling.
- three calendars from 2008 or earlier still grace your walls. Bonus if there is a mostly-nude woman on one of these.
- Inca Kola is a legitimate beverage.
- you can dance to all the songs in La Hora Loca and are vaguely aware that some of the dances and lyrics are probably not appropriate for children.
- you stress about saludaring (kissing hello) and despediring (kissing goodbye) everyone in a room when you enter and leave and strategically plan how to saludar someone if you missed greeting them when you first arrived. (I´m not exaggerating this one. I have been legitimately stressed about greeting everyone properly in a room and consumed myself with "what do they think of me?" thoughts if I miss just one person).
- conversely, you are offended and confused if someone does not saludar or despedir you and you ask them later what the motives behind this action might have been. (Again, not kidding. I have feigned anger in an attempt to mask my sadness when asking a friend why he didn´t walk 200 yards out of his way to greet me.)
- Panetón starts to look pretty tasty.
- a meal served with only one type of carb is really no meal at all.
- Esto Es Guerra is a truly heinous mix of The Bachelor, Survivor, and Fear Factor (but with more beautiful and ab-tastic contestants) yet you still know all the juicy details of Angie and Nicola`s star-crossed-lovers romance and their shocking decision to leave the program rather than renounce their love. You may or may not have used this as a conversation starter when meeting new people with whom you had nothing else in common.
- receiving phone calls at 6:15AM or 10:45PM is normal, and not grounds for worry that something terrible has befallen a loved one.
- lunch that doesn`t last at least two hours leaves you feeling empty inside (starved for more food and more conversation).
- a neighbor or friend who "drops by to say hi" should be offered a beverage, a snack, and, possibly, a meal. They will stay for at least two hours (because "being really busy right before you stopped by" is nothing compared to a great chat with a friend).
- La Hora Peruana is a legitimate excuse for lateness. The amount of minutes late you can be for any event is directly proportional to the amount of makeup and/or hair products you used preparing for aforementioned event.
- you`ve acted as a stand in "cobrate" on late-night buses, opening and closing the door for passengers. It`s trickier than it sounds - timing is everything when opening a door on a bus that does not completely stop.
- the white lines on roads are just guidelines for where the buses ought to drive.
- you carry rocks while running to scare away the dogs and the men.
- you can accurately describe Peruvian dishes you haven`t yet eaten because no conversation with a Peruvian is complete without a thorough description of at least two dishes and a promise to "invite you over the next time my Grandma prepares it."


This list is by no means complete; I`m discovering more about Peru and myself everyday and facing challenges, meeting people, and learning new things that are constantly changing me. Yesterday, Thomas, Allie, and I celebrated four months in Tacna and I can`t believe we`ve been here such a short time. I`m ridiculously excited for what the next 20 months will bring!