Twenty-Three Lessons in Twenty-Three Months

I´m frequently asked how I´ve changed and what I´ve learned in the last two years in Peru. But there are no easy answers to those questions, just as the question “How are you?” doesn´t yield a simple “Fine, thanks.” but rather ignites a confusing spiral of self-reflection, bitter resentment, and indescribable joy.

I think I´ll spend the rest of my life combing through my experiences here and making sense of them all, but I wouldn´t want it any other way. While I can´t provide some concise, quotable answer, I can note some lessons and observations from my twenty-three months in Tacna. If there is anything I know for sure, it´s that any true list of what I´ve learned in Peru must reflect both the happy highs and the miserable lows of teaching, culture shock, and being thousands of miles away from the people I love.

1.      A good test of true friendship is whether someone accepts that you don´t have a cell phone and is willing to call your landline, knowing that there are four other people who may pick up.

2.      Deter raucous roof-cat sex by sprinkling cayenne pepper near the roof. For hard-core cat haters, try rat poison.

3.      When it comes to classroom management, it´s far preferable to be the one causing the crying rather than doing the crying.

4.      There will come a time when you lose your ability to communicate in any language. Immediately following this, you will suddenly become a whiz at Spanish but lack basic English grammar skills. Calm down! It`s okay to sometimes end a sentence in a preposition and to not know the past tense of skydive.

5.      Have a favorite bakery. Visit said bakery on days when you feel particularly murderous.

6.      It´s better to be suspicious and alive than overly-trusting and dead.

7.      Let people spoil you from time to time. Learn how to genuinely thank them and stop worrying that you will never be able to fully reciprocate their generosity.

8.      Slow down, take a deep breath, and listen: people will open up to you more than you ever anticipated. Be grateful and amazed for the beautiful human connection you`re having. Let go of any desire or compulsion to help them, fix them, or respond to them in the perfect way.  

9.      Students care more about having food on the table and caring for their younger siblings than their English grades. Most students deal with way more than they ever let on. Try to remember that when you`re disappointed that no one remembers the pronouns they learned just last week.  

10.  There is usually a space for a respectful opinion to be shared. Don´t be afraid of speaking your mind, especially as you get to know people better. How can you be authentically you if you never tell the truth?

11.  When your ideas are shot down or politely ignored, don´t take it personally and continue working for the betterment of the group as a whole.

12.  It´s okay if you fundamentally don´t get along with someone but it´s never okay to stop being polite.

13.  Unconditional love is a lot harder when you`re not related by blood, but the beautiful thing is that being a loving person becomes easier with practice.

14.  Hot showers are not overrated.

15.  The most mischievous students will be your best friends outside of the classroom. If you can form an alliance in the classroom, you will have that class under your thumb.

16.  Bribing students with candy, stickers, and playing games almost always works.

17.  Asking for help, especially from students, is a humbling experience. Putting yourself on their level will help them see you in a different light.

18.  Don´t sleep naked in case of an earthquake.

19.  Stop taking yourself so seriously. If you can´t remember the last time you were doubled over in laughter, it´s been too long.

20.  There are always excuses for why you can´t spend time with someone or go to a birthday party or hang out with a community mate or take a weekend trip. Stop thinking about laundry, chores, money, or sleep and take advantage of the invitations.

21.  There is no weakness in admitting you miss home or some aspect of the life you left behind, but no good comes from fixating on sadness or loneliness.

22.  Loneliness is embittering but it is not empty. Enter into the loneliness and define all that exists there. Let the bad feelings wash over you and be released from them.

23.  There is no day so horrible that it can´t be immediately improved with a dog-pile from first graders.