Yes and No

"Are you ready to go back to the United States?"

"Yes and no.

"I´m ready to be near my family and friends again. For the ease of communication. For the chance to build and deepen relationships with them instead of feeling as if we´re constantly struggling to simply catch up.

"I´m ready to be an active participant, instead of a respectful, foreign observer, in the social justice movements of my country.

"I´m ready to feel intellectually stimulated by working in a field that interests and challenges me.

"I´m ready to take off the training wheels that sometimes seem to exist as a member of a volunteer program and see what I will make of my life without the constraints and supports offered by JVC.

"I´m ready to wake up each morning and be enthusiastic about my work, as opposed to just happy that I get to see my kids at school.

"... but, at the same time, no.

"I´m not ready to be financially independent, but I also don´t want to rely on my (very generous and loving) parents.

"I´m not ready to look at my resume for the first time in two years and be disappointed that I´m not qualified for any of the jobs I want.

"I´m not ready for the unfair paradox of the job hunt - that one needs experience to find a job but one must have a job to become experienced.

"I´m not ready to end my experience with my community and to live without them. To come home to a house where no one is waiting, willing to hear about all the ups and downs of my day and offer perfect, thoughtful advice.

"I´m not ready to leave my students behind, knowing they face so much uncertainty, conflict, and obstacles in their young lives. Knowing that I may never see the outcome of their efforts, or mine.

"I´m not ready to say goodbye to my Peruvian family. To know that, until my next visit, I will have to love them from afar just as I´ve loved my American family for the past two years.

"There are some days when I´m resolutely on one side of the fence, but mostly I just feel confused and overwhelmed.

"I wish I had an easy answer to that question, but there was nothing easy about coming to Peru to live and work for two years, so I don´t expect there to be anything easy about leaving here either."