Rediscovery: Collegiate Mad Libs

Most people, within twenty minutes or so of meeting me, learn that I´m a huge fan of games: Fish Bowl, Gin Rummy, Amish Telephone, Cards Against Humanity, Apples to Apples, Clue, Boggle... and the list goes on and on. However, the unfortunate ones who participate in game nights with me quickly discover that I can be a tad bit competitive (and cue a worldwide round of apologies to friends, family, and strangers). But I love Mad Libs because it´s not (supposed to be) competitive and it´s creative, mind-sometimes-in-the-gutter fun!

(Plus, I had wonderful, energetic teammates and long car rides to weekend frisbee and rugby tournaments in college, during which we pushed the boundaries of appropriateness with our Mad Libs fun!)

I spent way too long rereading the Mad Libs we wrote on those car rides. Here are some of my favorite lines:

"He should have a left buttock that´s not bigger than yours, hands as big as fists, and wenises that go on forever."

"You don´t know if it´s the turpentine or the soap scum, but you are beginning to feel sexy. You make your apologies and try to hump."

"He likes to tantalize computer games on it and has recently programmed it to devour to him in a voice that sounds like George W. Bush."

"(A pickup line) Your wenis must be real tired, because you´ve been jerking through my Bosnia all night long."

"(A deal breaker) Says ´Weeeeee´ when the two of you snuggle."

"He looks fit, but he´s a hypochondriac who makes ´Oh sock it to me´ noises just walking into the pub."

"All he does is blather on about how much he gyrates his job and how he has 7 friends and how his moist girlfriends are as nutty as mango and how his family kisses him."

"If his bush was on fire, these are the things your guy would grab as he´s screaming ´Oh hot damn!´ at the top of his lungs."